Cats 101

I think cats are smarter than we give them credit for. Their main purpose in life is to annoy us, and they know exactly how to do it. In the morning, every single morning while I'm still in bed, Squirt (who weighs 20 lbs) likes to climb all over me, particularly my bladder, knowing full well that I'm desperate to get up and pee. Or, if you're wearing light colored clothes, our black cat likes to rub up against you and if you're wearing dark colored clothes, all of a sudden our white cat, Squirt, wants to be your best friend. And the laundry. It doesn't even have to be warm out of the dryer for them to want to snuggle into it. They just know that it's clean and it needs cat fur all over it. I'm telling you, they think these things through.

Squirt's Chair

And my personal favorite...it doesn't look very comfy but he sat in this weird position for a really long time without moving a muscle.

In hind-site, I'm thinking he was probably stuck.

Squirt

One day I found Squirt asleep in Andrew's bed, like this...

I'm not sure where the rest of his body is.

One day back in April...

I came home to find the cats had somehow confiscated the cat nip...bit through the packaging...dumped it all over the floor...and were having some serious fun.




The black cat was so doped up and spastic that I couldn't get one non-blurry picture of her.

Cat fart at the computer...

Do I need to explain this picture?

Squirt the Cat

Oddly enough, this is the only position Squirt will allow you to hold him in. If you try to hold him any other way, he'll bunny-kick you to death.

Yumalicious

This here is my favorite food blog for recipes. They have some fabulous stuff on their website. I was sick earlier this week and hadn't eaten in a few days. Yesterday my appetite came back rather voraciously. I got on the website and printed off recipe after recipe and got started on dinner. It was YuMmY. I was desperately in the mood for Mexican so I chose some of their Mexican recipes along with the Brazilian Lemonade. It should be called Brazilian Limeade but never mind that. You MUST try it. And follow her directions to a tee - including pouring it over ice because for some reason it was a hundred times better in a glass of ice. The recipes I chose last night were a little on the heavy side for my still slightly squeamish tummy but it was a verrry good dinner. And holy cow, their desserts look devine! I'm trying really hard to control myself!!

Speaking of yummy things, apparently Tim's head tastes like bacon...

Squirt and the manila folder

I apologize for another cat post. I'm really not a crazy cat lady. At least I haven't started wearing kitty cat sweaters...yet.

Anyway...

Squirt regularly annoys me when I'm trying to work on the computer and usually tries to lay across the keyboard like this...


So the other day when I was trying to get some work done he jumped up on the desk as usual but instead of going for the keyboard he eyed the folder next to the monitor. He opened it up with his nose and pushed out all of my papers.



Then he settled into the manila folder and tried to get comfy.


This wasn't comfy...


...but this was.


I guess it was just the site of an overweight cat so determined to fit in a folder that was so amusing to me. Dumb, I know.

Squirt & the butter box, part 3

The black cat has been curious about all the excitement with the box and finally tried it out herself. She likes it. It makes Squirt jealous.


The butter box is almost completely gone on the two sides. We need to turn it around and see if Squirt will start chewing on the other sides. But I almost think he's been chewing it down like this on purpose. I think he has a plan for just exactly how he wants his box to end up.


Fat and happy...

Update

So here's an update on THE BUTTER BOX. I know this is totally pointless but we've been entertained by it.

This is about where we left off

A couple weeks later...Squirt slowed down about this time and I thought he was losing interest. Then things picked back up again.
Caught in the act

I can't find my camera but the cat is currently working on the R in BUTTER. I also kept finding the box moved over, completely covering the heat register. Naturally I blamed Andrew only to find out one day when Andrew wasn't around to blame that the cat has been moving it. Sneaky little bugger hogging all the heat.

Squirt and the butter box

This has turned into an experiment.

I got home from Costco one day with a bunch of groceries. As I was putting groceries away, emptying out all the Costco boxes, I looked over and Squirt had taken a liking to this butter box. I didn't think much of it. Cat's like cardboard boxes. So I just kind of left it there for him for a couple of days figuring he'd eventually get bored with it. Then I noticed he was gradually eating it. And it was becoming his new favorite place to sleep. Andrew thought it was funny so he made a permanent home for the butter box behind our recliner right next to the heater vent. Squirt LoVeS it. He snuggles up in his nice warm box, eats the top layer, then goes to sleep. If Andrew is chasing him around the house, Squirt will run straight to his box, chew on it, then snuggle up. It's like his refuge.

Out of curiosity I'm leaving the butter box exactly where it is for now. I want to see how long it will take him to eat the box right out from under himself. I'm pretty sure he'll do it.

You can still see the Kirkland emblem on the top left side of the box.

The Kirkland emblem is gone

Andrew made a little sign that says 'Squirts kitty home'

Neurotic

Neurotic is all I have to say about this animal...he loves his Q-Tips. I need to audition him for a Q-Tip commercial. He is by far their biggest consumer & most loyal fan.

Wounded

I've always prided myself on having pretty high pain tolerance until the other day. While slicing up some squash, I managed to slice into my finger as well. It was a pretty good bleeder, so I put pressure on it like a good boy scout, got out the gauze and tape and wrapped it up good. But it actually made me a little woozy. It was really weird. I hate to admit it but I had to lay down on the couch. So I'm laying there and our cat Squirt jumps up on me to see what's going on.

Just a quick history on the cat - he loooooves Q-tips. He flips them around and chases them, he chews on them, he packs them around in his mouth like a cigarette, then he chews on them some more, and when the cotton on each end starts wearing off, he deposits them in his food dish.




Anyway, back to my finger. I mention the cats Q-tip obsession because he spotted my gauze taped finger.


So I'm laying on the couch with the cat, thinking "oh nice kitty coming to snuggle with me and make me feel better", when all of a sudden I feel a long sharp tooth penetrate the gauze and slide right down into my fresh cut. Apparently I had fashioned my finger into a giant Q-tip. Naturally I started screaming obscenities at the cat which really must have confused him because he just looked up at me and bit down harder. Yes, he finally let go, and yes, I whimpered like a little girl, and no I didn't get the opportunity to kick him across the room.

The squash turned out great though.

Fatness

This is a fine example of something that Tim and I call 'fatness'. We use this terminology for many things, mainly our own body parts, but in this case it works perfectly for our cat Squirt. He loves to sit on this end table and spread his fatness across to the window. That hangy down stuff is not fur, it is true fatness.

Squirt the Cat & Blue Sticky Tack

Ok, I know two posts back to back about our cat is kind of pathetic. But when your cat is as neurotic as this one, you need to share. That's sticky tack that he is tugging on and let me tell you, it was nowhere to be found afterwards. Absolutely nowhere. All I can figure is that he ate it - which wouldn't surprise me at all since he's done a lot dumber things in the past like trying to eat a fish hook and getting it stuck in his lower lip.

Squirt the Cat

So this is our cat, Squirt. He's pretty much an idiot. He weighs in at about 16-17 pounds and sleeps most of the time. He's asleep in this picture. Yes, completely asleep. That's his favorite chair and he almost always sleeps with his arms straight out like that. When he is awake he's either eating, attacking Momma Kitty (our black cat) or chewing on a Q-Tip (he has a Q-Tip fetish). Then he goes back to sleep like this. I'll maybe fill you in on the Q-Tip fetish later.