Trying to teach an 8 year old boy the delicacies of women

Last night, the three of us were wrestling on the floor when Andrew said,

"Hey mom, you are a big whale and you need to sit on..." Tim promptly cut him off.

Tim: "Andrew, there are a few things you never call a woman. A big whale is one of them. Women don't really like to be called animal names unless it's like 'fox' or 'chick' or 'ski bunny'.

Andrew giggled.

Five minutes later...

Andrew: "Mom, you're not a big whale, you're a pig."

I don't think he gets it.

Strange things

Yesterday, my sister became a grandma. Which makes my mother a great-grandma and me a great-aunt. I mean, I've always been a great aunt...fabulous, in fact...but now I'm officially great. Anyway, where has the time gone? When did we all get old? And seriously, do I have to relive the '80's again. I saw stirrup pants at the store the other day...for cyring out loud, STIRRUP PANTS!



PS. Congrats Chris & Michelle! It's freakin' me out, but congrats.

Quote of the Day by Andrew

Tonight, Tim was complaining about some tiny little red bumps on his arms.

Andrew: "Dad, can I see?"

Tim showed Andrew his little red bumps.

Tim: "I must have fleas. I probably got them from your mom. Did you know your mom has fleas?

Andrew: (without missing a beat - but with a BIG grin on his face) "Yep, that's because she's a flea-male."

A story for Monday

I'd been noticing a squooshy wet spot in my neighbors lawn adjacent to my garden.

It wouldn't dry up.

Last night I told Tim we should go over to her house and let her know she probably had a leak in her underground sprinkling system.

So we did.

We asked her if we could dig for her and try to find the leak.

She said "please".

So we did.

We found a sprinkler line running directly under the squooshy spot but oddly it was in perfect condition - no leak.

It got dark.

We postponed our investigation.

This morning our neighbor had to go to work.

Tim had the day off so he put on his camouflage clothes and went to Walmart. (Don't ask).

I decided to resume the dig on my own.

I found the leak.

A weed paper stake had worked it's way through the MAIN...I repeat, M-A-I-N...sprinkler line.

And I rediscovered my knack for saying a few choice words when it's appropriate for the situation.




THE END

Quote of the Day by Andrew

Andrew: "Mom, what are those things called that old people wear in their ears?"

Me: "Hearing aids?"

Andrew: "Oh yeah, those. I want some for Christmas."

Me: "What?"

Andrew: "When I go to Ben's house, and Kayla (Ben's sister) starts talking it's really annoying and I could just turn the sound off."




Priceless...

Diet Coke and Mentos

We've been wanting to do this for a long time.



Very cool but not quite as cool as this.

A cowboy of sorts...

Andrew disappeared into the office the other day for quite awhile. He was dead quiet. He likes to go in there and steal all my computer paper, staple the sheets together and color the pages. I was busy in the kitchen and just figured he was in the office making a book.

Then, several minutes later, I heard him wrestling with his dad in the other room and he was laughing hysterically. Tim and Andrew wrestling every night is pretty much tradition so I didn't think much of that either.

But then he comes around the corner and approaches me in this get-up...


He looks at me and says, word for word...

"Hello, I'm Cowboy Barbie and I hate to tell you this but I just kissed your husband."


Tim and Andrew have a long running Barbie war going on...but seriously, where does this kid come up with this stuff?